Once you know the sources of stress (refer to last week's entry for tips to identify the causes of stress), you must determine which are ones you can do something about and which are beyond your control. Successful coping involves accepting what you can and cannot change.
For example, you will not be able to change a parent who has always been demanding and inflexible, but you can control how you respond to your parent's demands. If your father has a progressively debilitating illness, you can't change that. However, you can develop skills for coping with the changes brought on by his illness.
Usually, some action can be taken to decrease stress. Changes don't have to be major to make an important difference. Sometimes, letting go of unrealistic expectations or adjusting your standards of how often or how well you perform a task (such as housekeeping) will make a big difference in reducing your stress.
In general, professionals who have extensive experience working with caregivers agree on five basic strategies to help control the destructive effects of stress. They are:
- Set realistic goals and expectations.
- Plan achieveable goals.
- Develop realistic expectations.
.
- Establish your limits.
.
- Ask for and accept help.
.
- Take care of yourself.
- Express your feelings.
- Maintain your health.
- Take time for yourself
.
- Involve other people.
- Hold a family conference.
- Seek professional assistance.
- Use your community resources.
